Communication is vital to our everyday lives. You have to learn how to be an effective communicator, so that people can understand you and you can understand others. Communication does not just involve talking, it also deals with great listening skills.

Communication is key to every relationship we choose to be involved with. I have yet to see a relationship fail because of perfect communication. I do not care how old you and the relationship gets, take the time and express in a cool/calm manner your feelings. Whether you are a man or a woman, communication can make or break your relationship.  

Most men have a hard time doing so because they are taught at a very young age to hold in your feelings and do not express them at all. Women on the other hand are taught to let these emotions show, maybe a little too much and that is why most women get hurt in their relationships. 

Communication is not only about expressing how you feel, but to keep a deeper intimate connection without sex with one another. The bond, the friendship you build with this person means so much more than anything you can buy out or any sexual act. 

Communication is intimate because you and your partner become one through sharing common interest and hobbies and just getting the other persons view on a certain topic.

Do not stop talking, do not stop communicating effectively with one another because once the talking stops, the problems and resent might begin.

Picture source: http://revolutionarypaideia.com/2012/09/05/give-people-their-deserved-closure/

Do you have any regrets?

Do you ever wish you can turn back the hands of time and hit the restart button?

My mom always tells me to” live without regrets”, but what does that really mean? Take chances and risks? Live everyday like it is your last?

There are many different ways to look at living without regrets; my biggest one is about relationships and friendships.  Should you go out with this person? Should you marry this person? Should you settle? Should you allow this person to take up your personal space and allow them to get to know who you are?

Some of people’s biggest regrets are about the relationships they have or wish they had or career choices.  

When you talk about career choices, a lot of older people end up going back to school to pursue what they really wanted to go to school for because when they were in their college years, their parents made them get a degree they did not like, because of the money and not because it was that persons passion.

How regretful can that be? Having a career you hate just to please your parents? There can be a lot of regret and some resentment as well.

What about relationships? I have to admit, I have few regrets about my past relationships that I wish never happened, but I know that those experiences made me who I am today. For better or for worse, I am glad that I met those people, learned those lessons, because those situations taught me about myself and also taught me how to TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT ME.

This article is just trying to get you to not hold back, be wise in your decision making, but do not hold back from how you truly feel. When I say feel, I am talking about your head and gut feeling, not your heart where all of your emotions dwell.

Take smart risks/chances. If you really like someone or you want to pursue a certain career, do that! Do whatever your heart desires, especially if it will uplift you and make you feel great about yourself.

Do not hold back from pursuing your dreams and goals. Chase what drives you and if you do not know what drives you take a few days and think about what makes you happy and do exactly that!

Do not live with regrets of not saying what you wanted to let someone know how you feel.

Do not hold back! You only have one life and I know you want to be fulfilled when you pass and live eternally. 

Choose today to NOT HOLD BACK, to live carelessly, and ENJOY YOUR LIFE!!!!!

Picture source: http://simplisticbella.blogspot.com/2009/12/can-i-get-some-new-ovaries-please.html

Have you ever been so angry that all you want to do is just scream?  Life has become to be too much and you just feel like throwing in the towel?

Take a few seconds and think about things that have happened in your life that made you this angry, as angry as the woman in the photo. Think back at how many times you wanted to throw in the towel and just give up.

Anger is a very strong emotion, for some people it is very quick to get into and takes forever to come out of.

Being angry takes a lot of energy, you become so worked up over something someone said or did and it takes forever for you to calm down because you keep replaying what happened over and over in your head.

Anger and un-forgiveness makes it hard for you to move past the situation and truly forgive a person that hurt you. Anger might make you want to hurt the person that hurt you.

Anger is a dangerous emotion that is fueled by disappointments, and un-forgiveness. For example, it can be a job you thought for sure you were going to get and didn’t, it could be a relationship that you thought would last forever but didn’t, it could be a close friend or family member that passed away, it could be a number of things.

But there is HOPE, hope that you will not continue to act out of anger. It is one thing to feel angry and there is another thing to act on that feeling.

We must stop allowing ourselves to be controlled by our feelings and ALWAYS CHOOSE TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

We must learn to HIDE OUR ANGER, meaning, even though we FEEL ANGRY we do not have to ACT ON THAT ANGER. We can do this by simply examining the situation and DECIDE that we will not allow ourselves to become offended by it.

I know some, if not most of us have seen Basketball Wives, the show that comes on VH1, and my two greatest examples for this is Tami and Evelyn (picture below)

These two lovely ladies are very ANGRY, BITTER AND UNSTABLE and they know it.

On numerous occasions on different episodes they say that they are crazy and unstable.

We watch these types of “reality shows” because of the drama within them but no really knowing or maybe not even caring that these ladies need HELP.

There should be no reason at all that they cannot control themselves when they are grown women. Both of them have kids, which happens to be daughters and this is the mom they are stuck with.

The drama that happens with these ladies, I must admit, it is funny, but at the same time it just goes to show you, these ladies have deep rooted issues.

I do not want to make this about them, so hopefully you get my point by now.

You have to learn NOT to be so EASILY OFFENDED and allow situations to just happen and you not act on your anger. I am not saying you will not ever FEEL anger, but when that feeling does come, THINK ABOUT IT, is it really worth you losing sleep at night while the other person can careless if you are upset about what they did to you? 9 times out of 10 you will find yourself saying no it’s not worth it.

Guard your heart! You have to learn to protect you!

Moral of the story is HIDE YOUR ANGER, even when you feel angry, you can still CHOOSE not to act on that anger.

First picture source: (http://www.sxc.hu/photo/579286)

Second picture source: (http://ru-crazy.com/2011/05/19/basketball-wives-season-3-trailer-tami-evelyn-fight-again-video-inside/)

Relationships! Relationships! RELATIONSHIPS!

Relationships can be the hardest lesson you will ever have to  face or the most precious experience you will ever have to experience.

When you are young, girls tend to fall in love quickly and guys tend to fall harder. The trick to making relationships last is to AVOID THEM AT ALL COST! No seriously, AVOID THEM! When you are young, you tend to fall in love with these young knuckle headed boys that do NOT KNOW HOW TO TREAT YOU YET, do not take these guys seriously.  You are YOUNG, and you need to learn how to DATE, do not settle for one guy and get all serious.

They say, “Life is short” but it can be even shorter if you settle too early and it ends up being more HELL IN YOUR LIFE then HEAVEN.

Trust me, I have been through a little spell of relationships and being boy crazy up to my sophomore year in high school did not help one bit. You could not tell me my friends and I was not the best looking young girls in that school. We had fun, we partied, we dated different guys and just were so happy, but NOW, NOW being 22 or 23, things and times have changed! ANYWAYSSSS!

Now let me break down the difference between dating and being a whore, dating around is just that, DATING, you do NOT sleep with all these guys until you find the one that deserves your heart. Dating does mean, going out on DATES (movies, dinners, game nights) with different guys. No games should be played, just remain TRUE TO YOURSELF and be HONEST with each guy you date.

Do NOT open your legs unless he is your husband, though this day and age, young girls are losing their innocence as young as eight years old :(.

If you can wait, you should wait, once you lose it you cannot get it back!

This is only part 1

picture source: http://www.thecolorcurve.com/blog/

Forgiveness is one of the most important things to do in life.

The definition of forgiveness from wikipedia means, the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

You must forgive people, not for them but for you. It will make your life a lot better if you be quick to forgive and not be easily offended. You do not want to have an unfulfilled life because you could not let go of some hurt in the past.

I read a book by Joyce Meyers on forgiveness, the book is called, Do Yourself a Favor….Forgive, it really helped me realize that forgiving people and not being so quick to be offended was something that I had to do in order to be free and happy with my life. Unforgiveness is rooted in anger, one of our most insidious and destructive emotions. It could lead to broken relationships, sleepless nights, high blood pressure and ulcers. It destroys friendships, marriages and families, not to mention peace of mind.(From Joyce Meyers book)

When you hold on to all of that hurt and pain you tend to become very bitter and mad all the time. You do not have peace and you always feel that everyone is attacking you and you do not understand why you behave the way that you do.

Ever been so upset that even after the situation you find yourself still thinking about it and getting upset all over again? FORGIVE THEM who hurt you. Pray for your enemies because what people do to you really cannot hurt you if you do not allow it to.

If you ever want to have peace and enjoy your life, forgive those people that hurt you.

Perfect gift for anyone(even you) if you have trouble forgiving people is to buy Joyce Meyer’s book, Do Yourself a Favor…..Forgive.

(Source: joycemeyer.org)

The older black women need to help the younger black girls that are coming up.

There has to be a stop with all of this old vs. young generation, we just need to all reunite and the older generation needs to exercise patience and restraint when it comes to the younger generation. We all know that this younger generation of black girls is in TROUBLE; they walk around with little to no self esteem, they believe they have no value and exercise no self discipline.

The older generation always complains about how the younger generation is trying to change things and feels as though they are handed way too much, and to me, they are right.

The older generation laid down the path for the younger generation; they opened a lot of doors for the younger generation. I guess they feel we are not paying them the respect and we are taking advantage of all of the opportunities we have and not driving out the results to their expectations.

I have talks with my mom about this all the time. She says my generation is lazy, thinks that the times are going to change to accommodate us, also, that certain opportunities are to chase us and they do not have to work hard for it.

So this quick article is for all of the older generation to start being patient and instead of complaining about what you do not like about the younger generation, start reaching out, uplifting and encourage the younger generation the right way.

Living in the world of expectations.

Expectation is a very serious issue in today’s time.

What have our own personal expectations which I feel, we set too high and then we get involved with people that also have high expectations like your family, friends, and relationships with our significant other. Isn’t that PRESSURE?

That type of expectations can weigh down on a person’s mind and potentially create a monster! You have to be able to have a balanced lifestyle and remain at peace. Set reachable goals for yourself. Unless someone else’s goals for you line up with your goals, ignore them and stay FOCUSED.

I feel like the reason for some young people’s suicides is not being able to cope with the fact that they cannot own up to other peoples (usually family) expectations. We have to stop allowing ourselves to have that burden on us to be what our parents want us to be. I had a hard time dealing with this myself: I came from a family who have a very high reputation and were very well known in our community. I was pressured into being a great student and become an educator. That was not what was placed in my heart to do and I struggled with not being a good student academically and it gotten to a point where I was tested because my family thought I had a learning disability when it was just me rebelling because I did not want to be like my family. I wanted to be my own person and not so much a part of a group.

All I am saying is, set your own goals and expectations. Live your life. Live a balanced life.

Picture source: http://dougshares.blogspot.com/2012/01/you-are-gods-best-idea-daily-epigram_23.html

What does this clock represent?

This clock represents time, time you cannot get back.  This clock represents time that has been spent doing unnecessary worrying, complaining, etc. Please please be careful how you spend this time. Time should be spent on a special hobby of yours, not worrying about a guy you want to impress, or if you are in a relationship, if this guy is cheating on you. This time should be spent with family and friends that uplift you and make you laugh.

Time should be spent more on your goals and values and less on your worries and doubts about life’s UN-answerable questions. No one knows what tomorrow is going to bring, but do not wait until tomorrow, grab TODAY by the horns and ride that TODAY BULL until you fall into bed from being exhausted at how much fun you had today.

A lady once told me, BE NICE TO YOURSELF! Once I heard that, I had my own AHA moment!  From now on I will not WASTE any more TIME worrying and complaining about what I do not know. I have turned up my FAITH and just learn to only worry about the things I can control and leave the rest alone.

I feel a lot of us (young adult women) are living a much too serious life. Stressing about things we have no control over.  We are wasting precious TIME stressing over all of the unanswered question marks in our lives.

LISTEN TO ME!

No matter if you are a young mother, a girl in high school, college or graduated from college and are working a 9-5, once a day, make some time for yourself and tell those worrying doubting thoughts in your mind to SHUTTUP!!!!

Set a spa day for yourself once or twice a month. DO NOT SPEND ANY MONEY. Pamper yourself! Paint your own nails, toes, and hair. Set some time where it is just you and you’re POSITIVE THOUGHTS. Get up, get out and meet new people (for those who are always in the house).

Spend time doing things that will make a difference and uplift your life and your well being.

The TIME IS NOW!!!!

Do not WASTE ANY MORE TIME on what tomorrow is going to bring!

Live in the TODAY AND RIGHT NOW!!!!

What is this thing we call Life and how do we go about living it? There are so many questions about what is life and how we go about living it. One thing I know for sure is that we have to learn how to ENJOY our lives, EVERYDAY!

One day at a time, you have to remind yourself that you have to enjoy yourself. You have to learn to love yourself, all of your flaws and all of your accomplishments made you who you are. Living and loving are two very important lessons all of us have to learn and it’s up to you to learn these things and learn them fast!

A way to achieve this is to know who you are. How do you find this out? Find out what you like to do and what you do not like to do. Have SELF control! That is so very important, in life you will be tried with a lot of different obstacles and circumstances that will make you doubt yourself and your abilities, that is why you must learn WHO YOU ARE!

Focus on what makes you happy and what you enjoy doing. It can be reading, writing, exercising, shopping (under a budget of course) :) but just find something that makes you happy and stick with that no matter what other people say.

You have to get out of the habit of pleasing people. We are not here to please others, we are here to please God. We may not have all the answers, but he does. He will not lead us in a wrong destructive path. Do not believe the doubts and fears that you hear in your head nor from other people, once you KNOW WHO YOU ARE, choosing to do the right thing though you do not FEEL like it will make you feel good.

This is about you! Be selfish in a good way! Learn to love yourself and others. Control yourselves and be happy.

Picture source: http://jennyschallenge.com/whats-trending-at-your-house